


The Things I miss

by SharonSharpe



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 10:52:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16196066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharonSharpe/pseuds/SharonSharpe
Summary: Saying goodbye is always the hardest.





	The Things I miss

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sara Lance is by far my favorite character in Legends but I wanted to challenge myself to get really angsty. I couldn't think of a better way than with the following fic. Let me know how it made you feel, even if it's angry.

It had all happened so fast. One minute Ava is sitting in her office preparing for a meeting and the next she’s racing down the corridors of Starling General towards Sara.

Ava stopped short as she rounded the corner and came face to face with the Legends. Zari had called her frantically explaining the situation but Ava had only heard three words.

Sara. Hurt. Dying.

Ray made his way over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders steadying her before he spoke.

            “She just got out of surgery, but they don’t expect her to make it through the night. We think she’s holding on for you,” he said blinking back his own tears.

            “What about Gideon?” Ava asked prepared to portal directly into the Waverider in the middle of the hallway if needed.

She looks up into the eyes of Zari where she is sniffling in Amaya’s arms.

Ava felt like her world was collapsing around her. Her heart tugged painfully as she felt the tears beginning to burn at the edge of her vision. She let Ray guide her to the window outside of the room where her girlfriend lay hooked up to tubes and IVs. She heard a scream resound in her ears and only realized after a moment it was her own. She clasped her hand to her chest willing her life into the woman in the room. A doctor comes out and tells them to say their goodbyes as soon as they can.

Ava is still and frozen in place. She has to be stronger. Her body runs on autopilot telling the Legends to go first. Her mind racing to figure out what to say. She calls Gary asking him to call Dinah, the man arrives a minute later with the woman in tow. Dinah squeezes her shoulder as she slides into the room. Ava watches Sara’s surprised and tired smile at seeing her mother’s face. Dinah leans her forehead against Sara’s and kisses her forehead. When Dinah steps back out of the room she pulls Ava into a hug and whispers thank you. Ava nods and finally steps into the room.

The first thing she notices is the stillness. Whenever she was around Sara there was an electric energy. A pulse of excitement and the unknown made an intoxicating mixture that thrummed through her veins. But now it was only still. Ava made her way over to the bed and sat down on the edge softly. She took Sara’s hands in hers and brought it up to her lips. A weak laugh pulled from Sara’s lips and Ava looked up into the watery blue eyes. Ava dropped her head and placed a sweet kiss to Sara’s lip. She smiled into the kiss when she felt Sara try to deepen it further.

            “Hey, jerk. What do you think you’re doing?” Ava choked out as she blinked hard.

            Sara smiled weakly, “I’m so sorry Aves.”

            “No. No. Zari told me you were protecting your team. I can never be mad at you for that.”

            “But you are.”

            “Maybe a little,” Ava gave her a watery smile, “I love you.”

            “Love you too,” Sara gasped her eyes fluttering momentarily.

Ava sucked in a deep breath as her eyes met the heart monitor next to the bed. Sara’s heart rate was slowing.

            “Aves,” Sara’s voice pulled her back to the woman’s face.

            “Yeah, baby?”

            “I’m so tired,” Sara’s eyes fluttered closed again.

            “I know baby.”

            “I waited for you. I needed to see you before…”

            “Shhh,” Ava shifted to lay next to Sara and hold the frail blonde in her arms.

Sara turned her head into Ava’s neck and Ava could feel the flutter of Sara’s eyelids as she tried to stay conscious.

            “Aves, take care of them.”

Ava looked down at Sara who was looking out the window to where the Legends were standing. Each of them were fighting against the tears, except for Zari who let the tears spill without remorse down her cheeks. Ava motioned for them to join her and they all entered the room a moment later. They stood around the bed trying to keep a brave face.

            “I guess sometimes a Legend goes qu…” Sara’s voice trailed off as the heart monitor screamed next to them.

Ava curled around the smaller blonde and finally let the sobs take over. Seconds later the nurse came in and turned off the monitor. A part of Ava wanted to tell someone to do something. Anything, but Ava knew Sara had a DNR and wanted to respect that. She let herself cry as she buried her face in Sara’s hair; her tears turning the blonde hair dark as she felt the small blonde’s skin slowly cooling beneath her fingers. A head pressed to her back followed by sobs and a fresh round of tears spilled down her cheek as Dinah Lance held her tight.

Later that night Ava lay in her bed that felt too big and too cold without the warmth of Sara’s body pressed against hers. She pulled the woman’s pillow to her chest and breathed deep. Fresh tears soaked into the pillowcase and she eventually cried herself to sleep. In the middle of the night, she was awoken by a strange tingle racing down her spine. She felt a phantom caress of her hair and a kiss to her temple. A gasp fell from her lips and she pulled the pillow tight to her chest.

            “I miss you already,” Ava sobbed into the pillow, her mind flashing to moments they shared.

_Sara’s nervous stammer on their first date._

_Their first kiss on the Waverider and the way Sara stood on her tiptoes to kiss her._

_Rum floats._

_Ava calling Sara Peter Pan at every possible opportunity._

_The resulting glare that followed every time._

_Nights spent cuddled amongst blankets._

_Conversations that lasted until early in the morning._

_French toast._

_Cool countertops and heated kisses._

_Surprise visits at work._

_White trench coats._

_Whispered I love yous that only they could hear._

Ava sighed into the pillow again. It may have been in her head, but Ava would swear she heard Sara’s voice.

            “I miss you too.”        


End file.
